


25 is just a number

by estriel



Series: August Break 2019 [15]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Romance, Wedding Banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 03:37:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20269384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: Everyone seems to have moved on in one way or another. Everyone except Yuzu, it would appear. Yuzu is still… well, Yuzu is still in love with Javi, just like he has been for years now.





	25 is just a number

**Author's Note:**

> Today's prompt was _number_. I wrote... and took a page out of MsDaring's book with the 'wedding banter' tag. Let's make this one popular. ;)

Yuzu looks at himself in the mirror, studying the lines of his face carefully. It’s all familiar. He looks no different. He feels no different, either. And yet. He is twenty-five, a quarter of a century, and he cannot help but feel like he should be _moving on_ somehow, like this is a milestone.

It’s not that he regrets devoting his whole life to skating. He _loves_ to skate, and it has been so worth it, despite the injuries and hardships and self-imposed isolation. He glances at the bedside table, at the gold medal he had deposited there, and smiles. It is about time for him to reclaim all his crowns before he retires – next up is Nationals, then 4CC, then Worlds. But then…

It seems like everyone around him is taking steps that go beyond the little bubble of the skating world. Mikhail got married, as did Keegan. Scott is engaged. Jason is so in love with his new boyfriend that Yuzu half expects him to do something crazy and propose before next spring. And Javi… well, Javi is as good as married, too. That last one stings more than it should, because hasn’t he had years to get used to this?!

The point is, everyone seems to have moved on in one way or another. Everyone except Yuzu, it would appear. Yuzu is still… well, Yuzu is still in love with Javi, just like he has been for years now.

He shakes his head at his reflection. He should let go, he really should. But he can’t help but feel that there are still things that remain unsaid between them. That there is still, somehow, unbelievably, a possibility that hangs in the air, like a door left slightly open, a lid to a box of secrets unsealed, so tempting.

With a sigh, Yuzu frowns at himself in the mirror, at his never-changing suit & tie look for each and every banquet. After brief consideration, he undoes the tie he had spent several minutes tying earlier. He pops the top button on his shirt. He smirks, then opens one more. He’s twenty-five. And he is tired of always being the same.

*

He hears Zhenya’s squeal from halfway across the banquet hall. Objectively speaking, she is not even _that_ loud. It’s more like one of those moments when you pick out your own name even in a gaggle of conversation. Except it’s not his name this time.

  
“Javiiii!”

Yuzu turns in time to see Javi squeeze Zhenya in a hug, and it makes everything inside him seize up. He didn’t know Javi would be here. They used to text a lot up until this summer, but then, for some reason Yuzu can’t quite understand, Javi’s messages became less frequent. So of course Javi didn’t tell him – or anyone, by the looks of it – that he’d be coming to the Grand Prix Final.

He _wants_ that hug so much it hurts. It’s pathetic, really, but Yuzu can’t help it. It’s like there’s a part of him that is still attuned to Javi, drawn to him and to his warm smiles, even though he knows things are not the same, will never be the same now.

He downs the glass of champagne he had rebelliously decided he could try, and heads across the room, towards Javi.

*

“Yuzu!” Javi catches up to him as he’s leaving the banquet, and Yuzu’s heart seems to make a somersault inside his chest. “Are you very tired?” Javi asks once he falls into step beside him.

“No,” Yuzu says, even though he is quite tired. He enjoys the warm atmosphere of the banquets, but people exhaust him sometimes. But Javi is not _people_. Yuzu would be more than glad to spend the whole night talking with Javi. Or doing other things, his mind supplies unhelpfully, and Yuzu quickly squashes the thought, because they are entering the elevator now and the last thing he needs is to fill his head with _these_ kinds of fantasies when he and Javi are barely a meter apart.

“Can I come over, then? Just for a while? To hang out?” Javi asks, sliding his hands into the pockets of his blazer and biting his lip the way he does when he is a little nervous.

Yuzu wonders what all this means. A part of him really wants to jump to conclusions, but he reminds himself that they barely talk these days, that Javi probably just wants a friendly chat, for good old times’ sake…

“Sure,” he says, careful to keep his voice neutral, even as his gaze betrays him and flicks down from Javi’s eyes to his mouth, then further down his body. “Let’s do that.”

Javi smiles at that, rocking back on his heels a little, leaning against the elevator wall, eyes bright. Yuzu had forgotten how ridiculously long his eyelashes were, and how much Javi could make him melt just by looking at him like that. Like he is simply _happy_ to be in Yuzu’s presence.

“I saw you had champagne,” Javi says conversationally, and grins. “That’s a first.”

“Well I – It was my birthday yesterday,” Yuzu says and sticks his chin out, suddenly defensive.  


Javi laughs. “It’s okay,” he says. The doors ding open and they step forward at the same time. Javi bumps his shoulder into Yuzu. “I’m glad you’re having fun.”

Yuzu wants to tell him that rather than fun, it’s more of a stubborn experiment, playing pretend, so he can feel less left out, but Javi goes on:

“Are you feeling it?” he asks. They stop in front of Yuzu’s door and when Yuzu glances at Javi while fishing for the keycard in his pocket, Javi’s face is unexpectedly serious, searching.

“No,” Yuzu answers, “It was just one glass. And I ate.” He holds the door open for Javi, then closes it behind them once they’re both inside. When he turns around, Javi is looking at him – Yuzu can feel his eyes like a physical touch almost, the way they travel all over his face, down his neck and to where his shirt is hanging slightly open.

“Good,” Javi says, and Yuzu doesn’t get it, the sudden tension that has replaced the earlier easy mood, and why it matters that Yuzu is sober.

“Why are you here, anyway? At the event, I mean?” he asks, just so that there is something to say, because the silence feels laden with something he can’t quite put his finger on. It’s making his skin tingle, in all the good ways – except not so good, considering he is in Javi’s presence. It feels dangerous to let himself feel those things when Javi is literally within arm’s reach.

“You know, I miss the skating –“ Javi starts, and Yuzu can tell he is lying, the way he ducks his head, the way he fiddles with the sleeve of his blazer absent-mindedly. He has seen Javi tell these innocent little lies multiple times – it was inevitable when they were competing and had to hide things from one another, just like they hid them from the rest of the field. It doesn’t make much sense now, since they are not rivals anymore and there is no gold at stake. Yuzu is about to call Javi out on it, teasingly, but then Javi looks up, expression both bashful and bold, somehow. “I miss you,” he says and steps forward, like he wants to pull Yuzu close.

Yuzu gasps, and that part of him that is still so stupidly _hopeful_ roars to life, urging him to act now, to pounce at this opportunity. But hasn’t he just been telling himself that he should let go? Move on?

“I’m glad you’re here,” he says, careful, and stays rooted to the spot instead of falling into that embrace like he wants to. “Did your girlfriend come, too?”

Javi blinks in surprise. “No, she – we broke up in the summer.”

This is new information for Yuzu and he feels his resolve crumble. He sways forward, a step closer, because what is Javi saying? Could it be? Now that he thinks of it, Javi’s Instagram posts the past several months have been suspiciously Marina-free: gone were the joint selfies and smiles that never quite reached Javi’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he manages. No matter how he feels about Javi’s relationship, no matter how jealous it had made him, it is still Javi’s feelings, and breaking up is never nice, is it? Yuzu wouldn’t know. He’s never had a relationship, not one that could be labeled as more than a couple of days of, well, physical enthusiasm.

“No, don’t be,” Javi laughs a little awkwardly and reaches up to rub at the back of his scalp. “I left her.”

“You… you did?” Yuzu asks, that hopeful thing inside him growing louder and louder. “Why?”

  
“I just –“ Javi shrugs, clearly lost for words. Then he draws a breath and looks straight at Yuzu, honest and serious. “Yuzu, I came here for you. I mean it when I say I miss you.”

“But you didn’t even text!” Yuzu bursts out, surprised, confused, not sure what to think now. The nigh complete radio silence had him so convinced that Javi is just… over him, whatever they were to each other. Yuzu is sure _friends_ is not a word either one of them would have used, by the end of Javi’s career, but he doesn’t have another one.

Javi bows his head. “Yeah. I’m sorry about that. I just needed to think things through a bit,” he admits. “I needed to be sure.”

And then Javi smiles, all shy and beautiful and all the way up to his eyes, and god, Yuzu wants to believe this so badly.

He opens his mouth to speak, but once again, Javi is faster.

  
“I’m sure now. I – um – I brought you this,” he says and pulls a shallow, rectangular box out of his blazer’s pocket. “Happy Birthday.” He holds it out to Yuzu, then presses it into his palm when Yuzu holds out his hand, brushing his fingers carefully along the side of Yuzu’s hand.

Yuzu shivers at the touch. The box is blue, with a small logo embossed in the right bottom corner of the lid. Curious, he opens it. Nesting on a cushion of blue velvet is a simple, silver-colored bracelet, a bangle. He pulls it out of the box, turning it this way and that.

“It’s not silver,” Javi explains and Yuzu catches the little smile that tugs at his lips when he looks up. “You like your gold, so… it’s white gold.”

“I – thank you?” Yuzu mumbles, running his fingers along the band. He doesn’t feel any less confused. This is an expensive gift, and they never gave each other anything but fun little trinkets and souvenirs, usually. He notices the engraving on the inside of the bracelet and squints to read the tiny katakana letters. “Pro-me-to?” he reads, recognizing the name of the song Javi had skated to the previous season.

“It means _I promise_,” Javi says, and he looks so self-conscious all of a sudden. Yuzu just wants to hug him, and never let go. “I wanted you to have something so you don’t forget me, and it says that because – well, I promise to never forget you, either.”

Yuzu suddenly wants to cry, because is this – is Javi saying _goodbye_? Did he misunderstand and misinterpret everything? Talking has never been their forte, it had all seemed so clear without words, but then words and texts were all they had, and now everything is so confusing.

“I don’t need this to remember you,” he says, because how could he ever forget when he wakes up thinking of Javi, and goes to sleep doing pretty much the same.

  
“I know,” Javi says. “I just – god, Yuzu,” he groans, hiding his face in his palms. “I suck at this. I have always been – I have wanted to be with you for, what, three years now? Four. And unless I’m completely stupid – which maybe I am, I don’t even know – I think you felt the same?”

Yuzu just nods, too shocked by Javi saying this, _actually_ saying all this, to do anything else.

“I just never had the guts, and thought it would be impossible. I thought I could forget and move on, and it just – I can’t. I don’t want to forget. And I don’t know where you’re at, or if you’re even still… interested – “

“Yes,” Yuzu says, the simple word falling out of his mouth quite without thought, because he doesn’t need to think about it. He knows. His heart knows. He has known for… well, at least those four years Javi had mentioned.

“Yes?” Javi asks, like he can’t quite believe it. His voice sounds a lot like that hopeful thing that lives inside Yuzu.

“Yes, I am interested. Yes, I want to be with you, too.” It is so easy, suddenly. All he has to do is take a step forward and wrap his arms around Javi’s neck. All he has to do is tilt his head up and wait, because he knows Javi’s lips will find his, like Javi’s heart had found him, finally.

It’s soft, and tentative, and so perfect Yuzu cannot believe he ever entertained the thought of moving on and giving up the hope that this would, one day, happen. Javi’s mouth is warm, then hot when his lips part and Yuzu slips his tongue inside, all but losing his mind at the realization that he now finally _can_.

When they part, breathless and smiling, Yuzu remembers he is still holding the bracelet. He holds it up between them, then lets Javi clip it around his wrist. It fits perfectly.

He looks at it, admiring it, smiling.

“You know,” Javi says, and Yuzu looks up to catch him blushing.

“What?” he asks, smiling.

Javi shakes his head, chuckling. “Don’t laugh,” he warns. “I – I saw this – this ring at the place where I had this made,” he says, then laughs out loud. “I almost got you a _ring_, Yuzu,” he admits and buries his face in Yuzu’s shoulder.

Yuzu doesn’t laugh, even though he’s sure it is a little funny. Instead, he feels himself tear up with the happiest kind of tears. “You can get me one someday,” he whispers against Javi’s ear, only half-joking.

Javi lifts his head, and when he sees Yuzu’s expression, he reaches out to touch his face. “Okay,” he says, a little breathlessly. “I will.”

And even thought he’s sure he doesn’t look any different, or feel any different, at twenty-five, because age is really just a number, Yuzu suddenly knows that this _is _ a milestone. Because he now knows that even if it takes a hundred years to reach the next stage in his life, or even if he never moves from this status quo, he won’t mind. Because how could he mind, when Javi is by his side, and kissing him like he wants to grow old together.


End file.
